I stood on the edge of what we chose to leave behind—the crumbled wreckage of hard hits we watched Jake withstand, far beyond his abilities. Wreckage that pierced the very nervous system they disregarded too many times to count. Fires raged, uncontrolled, until our worn-out shoes finally stomped them out. We have no idea how we did it. We could never do it again.

Still, here we stand—just like so many other parents of children with autism and high needs—standing in the one clear space. Peaceful mornings. A changed direction. Ready to move forward. Start again. Find a fresh new space.

I tried not to look back. But it all felt wrong. The justice inside me glanced back, along the shrapnel. I had to write about it. I had to reach one person who faced this alone.

I collected the prior written notice documents. I wanted all the proof. I emailed a lawyer who had interest. I did the “never again”—and the hurtful research. I could not help but glance behind me.

There are few parents who come forward after their children’s education, well-being, and futures have been trampled in the hands of the school systems. Why? Why do more parents not come forward?

The facts are listed in numbers. Most parents lose against school systems built with layers of four-sided protection. Layers of concrete bricks to protect their money. Layers lined in mortar to protect their wrongs. In fact, parents in the United States who hire lawyers only win about 30% of the time. The odds are not in our favor. Without using a lawyer in due process, the odds dip down to 11% or less. Why bother? Parents are already maxed out. Parents choose peace instead.

In the meantime, the focus is on the now. The small but big moments of gratitude. The ones that feel like home. The peace we have learned the hard way to strive for.

Jake made me smile again today. He never seems to want anything new. He likes his routine and keeps himself inside daily rigid OCD cadence, which gives him comfort in ways that are hard to break. This morning, I let him know that our phone plan comes with Hulu, ESPN, and Disney. I showed him the app I downloaded and how to log in. All day, he kept telling me thank you. He kept reminding me how excited he was to have Hulu. An unexpected change. Something positive. Something that clearly brightened his day.

These are the small but big moments parents just like us get to see. I would not trade these for the world. The treasure, the honor, the magic—what he means to me.